Life as it is

I don't know what's gettin into me last nite. I can't sleep. kept thinking about the times that i come close to death. not 'that' close but still it gives me shivers n nightmares too. ppl may see me as a tough young lady but deep inside, i'm just a small girl that have insecurities n negativity surrounding me. i need composure. someone to hold me and gives me strength. yes,  it's 'him'. but it's 1am in the morning n the answer that i received when i called him last nite was an aha, ehe, yaaa, em okay.so there goes my words of support eh.

then there comes the incident, flashing back in my mind. i can't stop thinking of what if i reacted differently. i may have been an 'arwah' today. and of course of that time when i was under the knife. what if something wrong happened. i know i sound crazy. but when you've been in a situation the same as i am, you'll be grateful to even be seating there sipping your coffee.

to get myself fall asleep, i think about what happens after 'those' incidents. who comes to my rescue. who came to give me moral support. and it's obvious isn't it? your family comes first. whenever bad things that happens to you, they'll come to the rescue. and there's also 'that' person of course. I can't thanked him enough for everything that he did for me. for accepting me as i am and the badness in me. also of the coming future that sometimes comes blurry to me. i know you'll be there no matter what happens to take my hand along the way. =)

p/s : life is cruel sometimes but when you have somebody to share it with, it becomes so much easier. =)