it's funny how people thinks they know me just by reading my blog. you see, i wrote what i want. what i wanted to portray. it's not 100% the real truth.
i really wanted to think that i'm happy. that i used to be that kind of person. so joyful, so full of life. the longer you lived, the wiser you get. but then all the nasty things just seems to appear everywhere.
it hurts me in so many ways.
i know my kind of thinking is kinda distorted. and i finally got the answer why i am the way i am.
funny when you keep digging your past to know who you really are but when you knew it, you can't accept it.
you feel like you're given a death penalty. but you're not dying. you're living your life that you didn't even know whether you want it or not. is this the life i want?
am i what's written on THAT paper?
that can't be it. i'm not like that.
i know i am more than that. i am not my sickness.
i don't know the difference anymore.